I recently had the gift of harsh reality thrust upon me when one of my superiors informed me that I was hired against one of my coworkers recommendations. She happened to be the only other person providing recommendations to said superior. I was also informed that my reviews since starting from said coworker, were mediocre at best.
Since this is my blog, I'm going to be real with you. Hearing this information was a real bummer. Although I understood why this coworker would have reservations, I didn't understand why she wouldn't give me a chance once the decision to hire me had been made. All the sudden a lot of missing pieces started to fall into place. The judgmental looks when I used the wrong vocabulary, or the not-so-subtle jokes whispered in the meetings I was running. There were many attempts to purposely exclude me, and I couldn't help wondering how much of an impact this one coworker had on the situation.
Now, as I sit in my hard fought place as a member of this coworker's "click," I can't help but notice how much hurtful gossip takes place. I begin to wonder how much of that gossip is about me when I am not around. I think about how unproductive it is, and how I don't want to be a part of it anymore.
Although I cannot diminish my desire to be liked and accepted; above all, I want to be respected. I want my team to have faith in my abilities, and know that I am competent. In order to gain this respect, I need carry myself in a manner that deserves respect. Time to clean up my act, and take ownership of the image I portray.
I won't chime in when everyone is gossiping about someone else. I will spend my own time learning more about my field. I will continue to remind myself that although it is important to be liked, it is more important to be respected.
